A great start..

My lady and I are from two very different backgrounds. It's like this, I got the Acca Dacca upbringing and she got the Doris Day one. My parents are old bikies, and lived a fairly alternative lifestyle. Michele's mums a diehard Churchgoer and as straight as they come.
Michele often finds it hard to believe the things I've seen and done, but thats just the way I was brought up. Even though the bikie lifestyle seems somewhat hedonistic, in most cases they have a good sense of values.

Think your having a bad day? Check your pulse.

My day started as per usual. Get ready and into the office.
I get a call from a client.
She wishes to pay me for a monitor she ordered but is stuck at the mechanics.
 I offer to drive down, take her to the bank and she can kill a few hours here while her cars being fixed.
 All part of the service.
I go out, put the key in the car.. nothing. Dead flat.
I attempt a push start. No joy. I call a friend.
We use jumper leads with no result. Time to call NRMA road service.
My mate Chaff is on, and he gets me going with a jumper pack and some quick wiring repairs.
I go to Century Batteries in Carrai St to see Mr Brad Hooper.
The old battery seems to be knackered. A new one is fitted, $200 later Im away.
I meet the client and sort the payment.
Most of the day is gone by now so I decide subway is the lunch option.
I order and grab a drink.
I walk to the car, place the drink on the sidestep of my Hilux and unthinkingly open the door.
Drink goes all over my new trousers. Im soaked.
I place all Im holding in the footwell on the passenger side and close the door.
A decade in the security industry ensures I lock everything unconciously.
A good habit sometimes.
Worst part is, my keys and my lunch are now in the car without me.
So. I walk 2 k's home grab my spare set and walk back. Im in and away.
Slightly sticky, very hot and even more hungry.
I cant trust the subway after an hour or more in a hot car so it gets the bin.
Its a shit of a day but Im healthy and walking.
Sometimes its good for you to have a bad one, just to remind you to appreciate stuff.
Our lifestyle is so damn good I pinch myself mostly, so even a few little things like this can throw you off.
But its best to remember how much better we have it than most people.
A trip through South Africa taught us to appreciate everything. We've got it good.

The next day, I go out to move the car. I turn the key in the ignition.
Nothing...

Gone Bush

My lady and I purchased 100 acres of prime goat country late last year.
Its rough but has a partially finished shack, power and telephone.
Our intention is to improve it on our weekends with an aim to moving there permanently.
It adjoins the Boonanghi State Forest so our backyard is about 700 hectares in size.
The country is hard, it grows death adders and rocks.
But the views are pretty good and the serenity?
Can you feel the serenity?

I hear strange noises..

I had a system in for work the other day. Usual stuff. No antivirus.
Full of spyware. An IE history listing a heap of porn sites.
4-5hrs of cleanout later its running a lot better. The owners seem like a nice old couple, so I give them the tutorial on system maintenance. It takes about an hour with all the "how do you do this" questions. I dont mind if I have the time. Anyways, they take it home. I get a call 2 hrs later and all I hear is an earful of static and screeching. Usually this means someones plugged the phone line into the network port. An hour later I get a another call. They cant get ADSL going. Its obvious they dont wish to spend their retirement fund on getting a computer tech out so I do my level best to diagnose the problem over the phone. Trying to explain line filters and isolation tests to a non tech savvy sexagenarian isnt easy.

Four phone calls and a loaned line filter later, they are still not getting net. I get the 5th call. The lady has called Microsoft and they've told her my newly installed AVG antivirus is blocking the net. She gets a little bit heated on the phone.
Apparently its "my" fault. She states the computer was functioning just fine beforehand Ive created the issue. This is a common enough misconception. I've been blamed for all manner of things.
Remotely causing systems to fail. Installing virus's and spyware. Deleting files. Masterminding 9-11. Assassinating Kennedy. Etc.
Its human nature to blame others for issues they've inadvertently created.
I explain that the system got internet fine in my shop, and there must be a configuration issue.
We've been through as much as I can do over the phone, but she refuses to believe that they may have plugged it in wrong. Never mind the phone line in the network port problem.
Its obvious the lady wants me to come out and fix the problem free of charge.
I've had this situation several times before. I cant work for free. I make this clear.
She hangs up in my ear. Problem solved.
I never got my line filter back.

Moree 2008

My good friend Kevin invited me to join them on a trip to Moree.
The plan? To lower the pig population.
Wild Pig (sus scrofa) are an introduced pest species that predate native wildlife, destroy habitats and carry disease. We'd be doing the world a favour.